ASEXUALITY
part two
brought to you by your local asexuals @aurvmx and @pergliamicialaska on instagram
the split attraction model (sam)
the split attraction model (abbreviated as SAM (ew uppercase letters)) is a model that separates sexual and romantic attraction.
people can choose to use this model or not. for example, a pansexual and panromantic can simply use the word 'pansexual' but still distinguish the two types of attraction, while an other can use 'pansexual' but not feel a difference between them.
people whose sexual orientation and romantic orientation don't match will obviously use the SAM, for example someone who is asexual biromantic. people who don't use this model and are in the ace community usually use the labels 'non-sam asexual' or 'non-sam aromantic'.
these are the flags (click on them for more info!):
↑ non-sam ace flag
↓ non-sam aro flag
asexuality and kinks
we've already talked about how asexual people can enjoy sex, but something many people don't know, since it's not often talked about, is that ace people can also have kinks.
by definition, kinkiness is the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies.
one thing to clarify is it has nothing to do with sexual attraction, since the pleasure that comes from kinks is not related to any person.
therefore, one can find said pleasure in a specific practice regardless of the people involved.
that means that an ace person with one or more kinks will get aroused because of the kink itself, not the person they're practicing it with. of course, this all depends on the individual.
in the kink community, it's said that kinks are not inherently sexual, since the satisfaction caused by them isn't.
the asexuality visibility and education network (aven)
the asexuality visibility and education network (AVEN), founded in 2001, is the biggest online asexual community and provides a large archive of resources on the ace spectrum.
it has explanations on what asexuality is, blogs with discussions and is basically a huge safe space for people in the community.
unfortunately some information, i believe, hasn't been updated in a while so some things might have changed.
click on the bee to get to the server!!
ace symbols and culture
since asexuality has its own community, of course there are some symbols and curiosities, and here i (alaska) am, illustrating them to y'all.
symbols:
card suits as symbolism
in the ace and aro community, playing cards are used as symbols for different identities:
spades are used by aroaces, hearts by alloromantic aces, clubs by greyaces/greyromantics and diamonds by demis.
these unfortunately do not include all identities, but only the ones that are used by more people.
ace rings
another asexual symbol is the asexual ring. it's a black ring worn on the middle finger of one's right hand (which can also be used to flip people off in a more stylish way).
it's not official and many ace people don't know about it, and basically no allos know either, so for most people it is more of a personal reminder and symbol of belonging to a loving community than something by which others can identify you.
ace culture/inside jokes:
cake
in the community a big joke is that cake, or any kind of dessert, is better than sex.
space
come on, space contains 'ace' and has the same colour combinations of our flag, how could we not claim something so aesthetically pleasing?
dragons
dragons are cool, and a nice way to flip a plot: if you don’t want to include a love interest, then why not throw a nice dragon in instead? it surely doesn't make it boring. and also, reading a fantasy book and rooting for the dragon, instead of the knight trying to defeat it and win the princess’ heart, is definitely a power move. besides, society thinks we’re mythical anyways, so why not use it?
netflix and cuddles
this is a sfw alternative to 'netflix and chill', but listen here, i have a better option
netflix and kill: a nice evening watching a movie and ending it with a good old murder. okay, maybe i read too much fantasy. whatever.
reminders
(again)
-sexuality is fluid, and in the future you might feel a different way
-labels are confusing and it's okay if you are struggling to find one or if you don't want to use one
-trying out labels is okay, and using one but then finding another that fits better is okay too, don't be afraid to find out what works better
-the asexual community loves and accepts you for who you are, regardless if you're part of it or not
-lastly, you're not broken and there's nothing wrong with you if you're asexual, you're valid no matter what
thank you!
we hope you found this carrd both interesting and fun, as our goal was to inform people in a way that wasn't too boring.
if you've reached this page, you deserve a slice of cake! or a cookie! or really anything you want. maybe a hug? you deserve a hug.
remember to always take care of yourself, respect and be kind to others, and stand up for what you believe in. we're proud of you!
we made a similar carrd about aromanticism so check that out if you'd like!
as you can see on the first page, we have made an italian version of this carrd. if anyone wants to translate this to other languages in order to make it more accessible to everyone, please dm us on instagram so we can work on it together!
thank you,
-ale and alaska <3